The First Two Years of Conquering the Tundra

Experiments in Orientation 
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January 28, 2010

A Creepy Invitation

The students that I'm teaching now have a horrible schedule.  They basically have class from 7 to 9 every day of the week.  This weekend will be their first weekend off since coming to the school two weeks ago so many will go home to see their families (the students are all adults from various electrical engineering firms around the province), but some will stay on campus at the hotel connected to my apartment building.  Below is a fantastically creepy conversation that I had with one of the students who will be staying here.

Student: What will you do this weekend?
Me: I don't know, probably sleep.  
Student:  I think you can come in my bedroom and we can play with each other.

I try to contain my laughter and explain the difference between "room" and "bedroom" to the class.  I also explain that "hang out" would be a much better word than "play".  I explain to the class the American English meaning of his statement.  The class erupts with laughter, but the student isn't listening...

Me:  So maybe I will hang out with you but I don't want to play with you, or go to your bedroom.

Student:  Why not?
Me:  Did you here what I just said to the class?  About what you said?
Student:  I didn't listen.

Later

Student:  If I come to your room, will you let me come in?
Me:  That depends, since I live by myself, most of the time I don't wear pants.  It's more comfortable that way.  If I'm wearing pants, you can come in.
Student:  We're men.  We can not wear pants together.  I think its okay.
Me: Uh... Okay class does anyone else have any questions before we end class?
Student:  I have a question.
Me:  Okay, but is it about me coming to your bedroom?
Student:  Yes...
Me:  That's it, class is over.

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Filed under  //   Chineses Oddities   conversations  

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January 26, 2010

Cabernet Flavored Ice Cream Popsicle

Chinese convenience stores are full of frozen treats.  Some are full of chocolatey deliciousness, while others seem odd and down right disgusting to my western taste buds.  I've seen pea flavored popsicles and cucumber ice cream.  I've had ice cream pops that have the flavor and consistency of butter and once I had one with a flavor that can only be described as dirt.  Every time I look through the freezer near the checkout stand at my local shop, its like a frozen snack adventure.  So obviously I was excited when I found this cabernet wine flavored ice cream treat.

My Chinese isn't so good (its basically nonexistent), so I wasn't sure what to expect.  I assumed it would just be a popsicle that tasted like wine.  Turns out, not so much.  The ice cream on the outside has a chocolatey, corky flavor with a chocolate coated cap on top.  After the first bite I thought "maybe that's it, maybe it's just cabernet wine cork flavored ice cream."  Then I bit into the goo.  The goo actually tasted exactly like red wine, but with a thick, mayonaisey texture.  I couldn't finish the whole thing, it was just too weird.

Next time I'll just go for the chocolate one.

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November 18, 2009

Found: student notes

I found this piece of paper when I walked into class today.  In my experience, most students write their lecture notes on random sheets of paper or in the book, so nothing is very organized.  Something struck me about this student's notes.  I know the notes aren't from my class because accounting isn't part of my course plan.

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August 26, 2009

Not as Delicious as One Would Think

Sent from A Whale's Vagina

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June 8, 2009

Chinese Oddities: Step Brothers Subtitles

There are a few posts from my now deceased wordpress blog that I really enjoy, so every once and a while I'll be reposting these "classic" stories (they will usually be photos of ridiculous things).

Every so often (read: most of the time) the English subtitles on cheap Chinese bootleg DVDs are wrong.  Usually the English subtitles are re-translated from the Chinese ones, sometimes they're from a different movie, sometimes I have no idea where the words came from.  Case in point:  Step Brothers...

           
Click here to download:
Chinese_Oddities_Step_Brothers.zip (582 KB)


Real lines:
Photo 1: "Exactly the same!" (after measuring their penises)
Photo 2: "If you fuck up..."
Photo 3: "I have a beautiful house."
Photo 4: "I will stab you in the neck with a knife."
Photo 5: "Lick my butthole."
Photo 6: "We can do aerobics in here!"

 

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Filed under  //   bootleg dvds   Chineses Oddities   SV Classic  

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